How to Date a Yandere Girl

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Yandere girls get a bad rap.

People focus on the violence and the killing, but what really makes a yandere a yandere is a commitment to love. Out of all the “’deres,” yandere is the only archetype that isn’t characterized by hiding her affection behind her personality. While a tsundere hides her love by acting hostile and a kuudere hides her love by acting cold, a yandere has no problem expressing her love in every way she can.

YandereDating1It’s just the extent to which she does so that concerns people.

As a result, however, there are plenty of advantages to dating a yandere. From her 100% loyalty and devotion, to her commitment to your happiness and maintaining a happy relationship, yandere girls are hard workers and are much stronger than they let on.

Their boundless love, however, is a double-edged sword, and has the potential to create problems that can put the relationship in jeopardy. If that happens, it’s very easy for her instability to spiral out of control and result in tragedy.

See, the thing about yandere girls is that we only ever find out that they’re yandere when they begin to act unstable. Up until then, they’re a normal doting little sister type or a Yamato Nadeshiko. Theoretically, any girl who gives a lot of affection could be a yandere waiting to happen.

So, how do you date one without getting killed? This handy guide will help you!

  1. Carefully manage her demeanor.

YandereDating5Yandere girls typically act in a predictable manner when they’re not in crazy-mode. As such, it’s relatively easy to tell when a yandere girl has begun a descent into madness and stop it early enough for her to recover. As you start dating, take note of her disposition. This is her “default” state, the state in which she’s happiest. It’s important to keep her in her “default” state for as long as possible, so as to understand all aspects of it.

If she starts acting in strange ways, such as demanding even more of your attention than she normally does or acting antagonistic toward your friends, chances are she’s picked up on something that’s distressed her slightly. If this happens, the solution is simply to reassure her by apologizing and showing her affection.

If she begins to act unstable, doing such things as saying strange things to herself (Note that talking to herself is normal, but if she begins to reassure herself about you, that’s a red flag.) or doing repetitive, pointless motions related to housework (Stirring a ladle around in an empty pot, etc.), it’s a sign that she’s quite distressed. She thinks you’re ignoring her or don’t love her. Reassure her by spending some quality time with her.

If she gets sexually aggressive, reassure her immediately, by any means necessary. Overt or aggressive sexual advances from a yandere mean that she’s convinced you don’t love her anymore (Or worse, that you’re cheating in her). She’s given up on appealing to you emotionally and, in a last-ditch effort to win you over, is attempting to appeal to you physically. Satisfy her, and then talk things out afterward. Do not rebuff her. That’s an easy way for you (And/or her) to end up dead.

  1. Moderate your time spent with others.

YandereDating6Yandere girls are in a near-constant state of mild paranoia, worried about being left all alone. They see almost everyone else as a potential threat to your relationship with her. This must be carefully managed to prevent her from slipping into insanity.

Don’t spend too much time with others, especially other women, and especially one-on-one. If you must spend time with others, make sure your yandere knows how much you missed her and how happy you are to see her again. It’s a good idea to arrive with a gift, so she knows you were thinking of her while you were out.

The objective is to have her understand that she’s important to you and she’s on your mind all the time, just like you’re on hers.

  1. Spend time with her. A lot of time.

YandereDating4This seems like an obvious point, but it bears repeating when it comes to yandere girls. A yandere will be practically falling over herself to spoil you. Let her. First of all, it’s nice. Second of all, repeatedly denying her attempts to serve you might signal to her that you’re losing interest, and if she begins to think you’re losing interest in her, it becomes extremely easy for her to fall into instability and insanity. So take her out every now and again and let her fully express her love.


Remember: When you’re dating a yandere, her life, and possibly yours, is in your hands. You are her world. Don’t try to convince her otherwise. It won’t work. She’s crazy. She’s not like normal people. Dating a yandere, you will have a powerful partner and a strong love, but you cannot just treat her like any other girl. Doing so might put your life at serious risk.



Take a dive into the psyche of yandere girls and find out what makes these crazy chicks tick in the September issue of NYAAN – The Magazine.

About the Author

President, Lead Content Creator, and Head Editor of She’s Lost Control Media. Has a lifelong love and passion for anime, videogames, and otaku culture. Enjoys Gundam, lemonade, and yandere girls.